Most people believe that stress is something that happens in their lives. They believe it is the result of outside circumstances beyond their control. We are stressed if our work is t difficult. We get stressed when people in our lives aren't doing what we want them to do. We are stressed when it's been t long since a vacation. We get stress over deaths, weddings, major purchases and a host of other things. We talk as if stress is something outside ourselves---a condition of things in our external environment. It's not.


Health professionals will tell us that stress is a contributing factor in many physical ailments---heart attacks, asthma, high bld pressure asics runners ireland , stroke and many others. There are several diagnoses in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV, the diagnostic tl of therapists and psychiatrists that describe many stress-related disorders. Stress is a killer.


Have you ever wondered why some people seem to handle stress better than others do? One individual may have all the life circumstances purported to cause stress in one's life but seem to be just breezing through his or her day, seemingly without a care, while another person gets a flat tire on the way to work and has a total melt down. How can this be explained? I intend to lk at stress from a different perspective---a choice theory perspective.


According to Choice Theory, all behavior is purposeful. This means that no matter what we do it is a purposeful attempt to get something we want. We are never simply responding to outside stimuli.


You may ask l-express-shoes-burgundy-white-ireland.html" target="_blank">Asics GT-Cl Express Shoes Burgundy White Ireland , ?What about when I flinch when I hear a loud noise?? The flinching is not a response to the noise, but rather your proactive way of staying safe. This may seem like I'm splitting hairs, but it is an important distinction to understand in this discussion of stress. Let me give you another example. You may think you get mad at your child for not cleaning his or her rm after you asked several times. It sure feels as if the anger is in direct response to your child's behavior. However, your anger is actually your best attempt to get your child to do what you want. By displaying angry behavior, it is your belief that your child will go ahead and clean up his or her rm. Any behavior or emotion we employ is a proactive Asics Gel Respector Shadow Pack Jogging Shoes Black Ireland , sometimes conscious sometimes not, attempt to get something we want, not a response to external stimuli.


The same is true for stress. We are chsing stress as a proactive attempt to get something we want. This choice is almost never conscious, but I want it to become conscious for you. Once it is conscious, then you have the power to chse to do it differently if you so desire. Since all behavior is purposeful twear-mn-beam-white-ireland.html" target="_blank">Asics Gel Respector Ftwear Mn Beam White Ireland , it helps to understand what possible benefits or purposes one could achieve by stressing. Who would ever chse that behavior for any benefit? I say stressing can be motivating. Many of us perform at our peak level when we have that adrenalin rush moving through our veins. Anyone who has ever waited until the last minute to study for a test or complete a project knows what I'm talking about here.


Stressing can also be a way of telling others they better back off. I know when I felt stress, it was my unconscious goal to let my boss know she had better not ask me to do one more thing or I just might lose it! I would send out signals of overwhelm---lots of sighing, threatening lks, irritability, loss of humor. I have to admit that since I didn't do it very often Men's Asics Onitsuka Tiger Mexico 66 Shoes Black White Ireland , it was quite effective. Whenever I was stressed, my boss generally left me alone to do my work.